Remember When Chapter 2 - She Realized
by shirayuki55
Summary: Rukia and Ichigo, along with their three kids, reminisce over all the important events in their lives.


Author's Note-As promised, here's Rukia's side of the story. Enjoy and review if you please.

Disclaimer-I own nothing except for my created characters and my imagination.

Remember When Chapter 2-She Realized

Stubborn, that was an attribute commonly associated with Rukia. And it was true. She was not stupid; she knew early on that she liked Ichigo. But the moment that she excepted and dealt with it had not come until much later.

When she had first laid eyes on the strawberry-head, she had thought he was brave. There he was; a normal human with no powers what so ever and no way to protect himself or the girl, but still he had grabbed the spirit and tried to protect her, no matter how futile his eferts might have proven to be. When she had officially met Ichigo, she had been surprised. Sure, since he had been able to see the little spirit girl she should have connected the dots, but she hadn't.

And so she had been surprised that he could even see her. But that feeling had worn off just as quickly as it had started. Then, she had thought he was rude. Simply just plain rude. Sure, she was in his room and all but that was no reason to kick her the way that he had, or even, no matter how hard it was to believe, accuse her of lying about what she was and did.

Although she had to admit, drawing on his face and not to forget, binding the insolent little brat had been great fun. The surprise had returned later on once he used sheer force of will to break her Kido spell. He was a fool. That was the next thought that ran through her mind as he leaped at the Hollow. But, he was a fool that she must protect.

And so she had jumped in front of him, not thinking about her own self-preservation or how it might effect her. And then had come pain; pain like she had never felt before. But it had been worth it; her goal had been realized and she had protected him. So then why did she feel so worthless?

If only she had been quicker, stronger, smarter then just maybe she might have been able to protect the boy and his family without injury, and successfully get rid of the Hollow. But no, she was just too weak. And now here she was, left with no other choice but to endanger this boy's life with a transfer of her power that might not even work, all because of her weakness and stupidity.

But thankfully, it had worked. The Hollow had been dealt with and nobody else had been injured. But where did that leave her? Well, it was obvious where it left her. Until she got her powers back she was stuck here in Karakura to train Ichigo on how to take over her duties as a Substitute.

The next day she had enrolled in his school. That is, after going to see Urahara about a Gigai and staying up practically all night studying Human behavior. In her opinion she had fit right in, and it didn't take much to coax Ichigo into excepting her duties. The days had gone by, and she had spent more and more time with him.

Their playful banter had developed naturally, and Rukia had, unbestknown to her at the time, begun to loosen up and injoy herself. When she had watched Ichigo face the Grand Fisher alone, she had felt helpless. Completely, utterly, and totally helpless. Sure, she had tried to help him with a weak Kido spell, but not even that provided him with any real aid.

His battle of pride had opened up some old wounds of hers, but nevertheless once he had proven victorious she had felt genuine happiness and pride. More time had passed, and Rukia had found herself growing more and more comfortable in the world of the living. So why had she felt the need to run away? Maybe on some subconscious level she had known that her brother and Renji were coming for her. Or was it maybe, that she just didn't belong there.

In any case, no matter how futilely she or anyone else had struggled, she had been apprehended. Her feelings upon leaving had been almost undescribable. A mix of guilt, sadness, and self-loathing had filled her when she had last spoken to Ichigo. She had not meant to be so cold, but it was for the best. Yeah right.

For the next few weeks, the majority of her time had been spent in solitude in her cell, just awaiting death. Betrayal had been a strong feeling then. Betrayal at Renji, betrayal at her so called brother, betrayal at the whole damn Court-Guard-Squads. Because really, what had she done wrong. She had had no other choice but to give Ichigo her powers.

She would just love to see someone come up with a better solution in her situation. And it wasn't like Ichigo was using his powers for evil; he was protecting the innocent humans and souls alike. So really, what was the big crime? How in the world did she deserve this punishment? But eventually she found that there was no reason to dwell on it. Because whether it was right or wrong, she was going to be executed.

And really, who would miss her. But then the news had come, saying that Ichigo had invaded the Seireitei on a rescue mission. The first guilty emotions to fill her had been joy and hope. He was coming to save her, he still cared, and best of all, he wanted her to live. But then reality had set in and with it came the guilt; soul crushing heart-ripping, mind numbing guilt.

He would die. As horrible as the thought was, she was almost certain it was true. He was just one Substitute Soulreaper after all, no matter how many friends he had brought, up against the entirety of the 13 Squads. There was just no way possible, not even in her most wildest dreams, that he would succeed. And so she had given up; given up on hope, given up on seeing Ichigo, and worst of all, given up on living.

She had closed her eyes and tried to make peace with her demons as the Sokyoku rushed at her. She had wanted to at least remain dignified in her last moments, and not give them the satisfaction of seeing her scream, cry, and tremble in fear like she really wanted to. But then he was there; her student, her friend, her sun, her everything; protecting her like she had so desperately wanted him to.

And later, Renji was there. Happiness had swelled within her; not only did she have Ichigo, but her old friend had decided to come to his senses as well. For a brief moment she had thought just maybe, maybe everything would be okay. But then Aizen had appeared and crushed her happy hopes as if they were mere ants; stepping on them one by one.

He had cut down both Ichigo and Renji in the blink of an eye without any hesitation or second thoughts, and had made Rukia watch. The horror; the horror had filled her. They just couldn't die; not like this, not right now after everything that had just happened. In a sense, she had just gotten them back only to loose them. And then Aizen had played with her mind; had made her feel more useless, helpless, guilty and stupid then she had ever felt. And then the pain had come; blinding pain that was over as quickly as it had begun.

But Aizen wasn't finished yet; she was about to die by Gin's hand and there was nobody who could save her, that is, until her brother had literally appeared from nowhere to shield her with his own body. And for once, Rukia had really felt like Byakuya was her brother, and that he actually cared about her. He had went on to tell her about Hisana and the reasons behind why he acted as he did. For the next few days, Rukia had been an emotional reck.

Thoughts of Hisana, Kaien and Byakuya had filled her mind; but the one who had been at the very front was Ichigo. The question was, where did she go from here? Ichigo and his friends were returning to the world of the living soon, and she wasn't sure if she should stay or go. She loved him, that much she was sure of.

But it was wrong; wrong to love him. Because she didn't belong in his world, and it just wasn't meant to be. And though he had risked his life multiple times to save her, Rukia was still not convinced that he really loved her anyway. And so her decision was made. She would remain here and would just have to say goodbye to him, no matter how heartbreaking it was.

As luck would have it, she found herself frequently in the living world. Of course, it was always buisness and battles that brought them together, but still she wouldn't complain. In the middle of the storm that was their frequent battles and ultimately the war, Rukia was still happy. Happy to be close to him, fight with him, laugh with him. Just to be in the presence of the man she secretly loved was enough.

She was constantly worrying for him but that was okay, she knew that he worried about her too. And though on the outside she scolded him for being overprotective and whined about how she could take care of herself, inside she basked in his attention. And though she had her hardships (she was always afraid that he would die since he faced so many strong opponents), everything in her book was still okay. Ichigo defeated Aizen and now everyone could be happy.

In the end that had turned out to be wishful thinking. Immediately after his victory, Ichigo had lost all of his powers. This wouldn't have been so bad; after all, now he could live a normal life. But he had also lost the ability to see spirits, which sadly included her. And just like that, her happiness had come to an end.

She had tried to be strong for him, and had just managed to keep her feelings under control. But as soon as she had faded from his sight she had lost it. Tears had flowed like waterfalls down her face, and she had wrapped her arms around Ichigo and cried; cried for him as well as for herself. In addition to not being able to see her, Ichigo had not been able to feel or hear her anymore either. Rukia had known this, but she had still not been able to stop herself.

Depression had followed; a long and drawn out one that not even Renji, no matter how hard he tried, could break her out of. She had been promoted to Lieutenant, and she could say she was pleased about this. But her congratulations party had not really been a party; people had just milled around giving her pitying stares while she sulked in a corner waiting for it to end.

Two years had passed before Ichigo regained his powers, although to Rukia it had felt like a century. When he had put his arms around her to hug her in greeting, it had suddenly felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders and she was now as light as a butterfly. Because everything was right again, at least in her world, and she vowed to never let this feeling go.

Orihime had decided to throw Ichigo a party, and Rukia had agreed. This could be a nice opportunity to dress up and look nice for Ichigo after all. She had spent hours picking out the right clothes to wear and how to do her hair. But somehow, compared to Orihime she still managed to feel plain. The moment she had come to her senses had been at that very party.

A lot of people had shown up, and everyone had been having fun. The music had just begun, and Orhime had sidled up to Ichigo and held out her hand. "Ichigo, would you like to..." "Ichigo," Rukia had interrupted, appearing beside him and grabbing his hand. "There's a Hollow alert, we should go." "Sure," he said turning away from Orihime.

Rukia had quickly dragged him away, leaving Orihime in the dust looking dumbstruck. Apart of her had felt bad, but a larger part of her had snapped. Orihime was intruding on what was rightfully hers and she'd be damned if she let them dance together. But no, he wasn't hers. Because she had stupidly decided awhile ago that even though she loved him, she wouldn't do anything about it. Well that was done and over with.

She was sick and tired of hiding her feelings. Screw what her brother thought, screw the Soulsociety, screw everything and everyone. Because she loved Ichigo, she would tell him, and that was all that mattered.

There had never really been a Hollow, and so soon they returned to the party. Ichigo had pissed and moaned about how she had dragged him all the way out there for nothing, but she didn't care, because she was content with her decision. She would tell him, even if she had a small fear that he might reject her. She would tell Ichigo that she was irreversibly, and irrevocably in love with him.

"Oh, my poor Rukia," Ichigo said wrapping his arms around her. "I had no idea how you felt back in the Soulsociety." He leaned over to whispered in her ear so that only she would hear what he said next. "Listen closely to me, my Tsuki," he said, his warm breath tickling her ear. "You may not belong in the world of the living, but you will always belong with me. And remember that I will always love and cherrish you, that I will always need and protect you, and you could never be worthless." Turning her face into his chest, Rukia allowed one lone tear to drip onto his shirt. "Thank you, Ichigo."

Before anything else could happen, Hikari broke their spell. "Hey Mommy, were you really jealous of Miss Orihime?" she asked. Composing herself, Rukia turned back to face her kids. "Yes I was Kari because she liked Daddy too, and that wasn't okay with me." "Oh." "I think you were very brave," Kiseki said softly, her warm brown eyes conveying the earnesty of her remark. Rukia had the urge to tear up again, but she fought it with the support of Ichigo squeezing her hand.

"Thank you, Seki," she said her voice just as soft, her own violet pools conveying how much that remark meant to her. "Please continue the story," Hoshi spoke up. He had been quiet until now, but surprised them by asking this since that was usually Hikari's line. "Alright, but now we can tell the story together," Ichigo said turning to Rukia. "Ooh, let's tell them about the time we confessed," she suggested with a little giggle. Ichigo nodded in agreement. And so, they continued their tale.


End file.
